SATIRE — DARK HUMOR — CONFIDENCE IN OUR LEADERS

Trump Reveals Prior Knowledge of Monkeypox

Debra G. Harman, MEd.

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In an exclusive interview, Trump says, ‘Yeah, yeah, I knew about it before anyone else.’

Photo by Jeffry Surianto: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-photo-of-gray-monkey-8887740/

Trump disclosed in a rare interview last week he has been aware of the Monkeypox virus since its inception.

“I know everything before everyone, always,” Trump said.

He showed his monkeypox T shirt with block letters: “My wife went to Africa and all I got was this Monkeypox T shirt.”

Trump claims he met with Putin in 2018 to discuss the variant. The world leaders were meeting in London to distract the press from its fixation on Jamal Khashoggi’s murder.

“We must take their minds off things,” Putin said, “and let’s get a golf date with the Crown Prince!”

The Crown Prince was unavailable for several days, owing to an issue at the dry cleaner’s. They were unable to get the blood off his garments and those of his closest associates.

The monkeypox virus was originally slated for release in 2028, during the Chinese Year of the Monkey.

The leaders, “boys being boys,” thought it would be fun to witness another global pandemic hot on the heels of the Corona Virus, so released it early.

Putin and Trump were attending a performance of Romeo and Juliet at The Globe Theatre when the line “a pox on your houses” was uttered. In unison, the global leaders looked at each other in a “lightbulb” moment and decided to release the pox immediately.

The decision was made to release the virus in N. Europe and the USA, owing to the shoddy healthcare services in both areas.

“Let’s see what happens when it runs roughshod over people who can’t get healthcare,” Trump declared, “I’ll get Debra to ride shotgun, and I can propose something to clean that pox up. Bleach that red monkeypox butt!”

“It should only affect 100 to 150K Americans. No big deal,” Trump uttered, as he practiced his right-arm…

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Debra G. Harman, MEd.

Memoirist and author. As a publisher on Medium, she enjoys working with a team of editors & writers. Also a retired English teacher and a world traveler.